appreciate

i'm single. how crazy is that. went almost eight months and it was good but now it's done. anyway in light of this break up, it's led me to do a lot of thinking. more thinking than i've ever really done. actually it's led me to doing something that leads me to thinking a lot but whatever. one of the things i've really looked at is the impact people have on each other. i've been sitting around thinking of all my friends and how i think they've impacted my life and of course at some point all of you crossed my mind. i mean the kid i was when i started this blog back in my senior year of high school is definitely not the person i am. i've changed so much and come closer to figuring out who i really am. the gay thing has been such an issue for me and today i can honestly say i'm completely ok with it and i'm proud of it. i love being gay and i love that majority of my friends are gay. i love being a part of the gay community. the entire gay journey, i hate putting it that way, started with you guys and from that in some way shape or form i've been impacted by all of you. from kc and elka who i admire for all their greatness. having taken a little podcast to what it is today is amazing. they've brought so many people together and i commend them for that. then there's slo and green who basically helped carry the kelka fans through it all. they came out as leaders in a sense and it was perfect. then jagged, janie, pb, saidi, chazza and everyone else who made podcasts at some point something you said has stuck with me and caused me to make certain choices at one point or another. there are times i really take your advice and things you all have to say to heart. the first friend i had on here was wonga. it was perfect. she was my age, confused and we had each other to talk to. it was a huge help and really helped me. as i explained things to her, i was clearing things up for myself. then there was the hobos. saidi, pb, wonga, and addie. we had the best summer ever and honestly that summer was probably one of the best. i've never had more fun staying up all night talking, watching youtube and just having a good time. i took a lot out of everything we talked about. it's been awesome to hear each and everyone of their stories and to hear their advice. i look up to these people you know. all of you i look up to you. i look for advice and guidance and i've gotten that for over two years with you guys and i couldn't appreciate you more. right now i'm all about appreciating people and the impact they've had on me. i'm happy now and ok with who i am for a change. i love life. i love you guys. i just wanted all of you to know that i love you all and truly appreciate you. you've all impacted my life in some way and for that i thank you. i thank for helping to shape the person i've become now because i'm a person i like and am happy with. i hope all of you can sit there and say "I'm happy too." it's a great feeling. and if at the moment you can't say that you're happy, find joy in the fact that you've impacted me and many others. think of who you are and how you've been able to positively impact the people you've met. just enjoy life and be happy.