Get it together

The pressure is on to get everything together for this trip. You'd think ey would have given us a day off to have time to prepare. I feel like Saturday is going to be the day from hell. I have to go to the mall and not only find some more dress clothes... not really he hard part, but I have to find fancy shoes that don't kill my feet. I continuously get shoes only to find that after an hour my feet want to murder me. I can't really have that happen this time considering we'll be going to corporate. Then there's packing and making sure I remember to bring everything I need. I also need to ensure that I apportion the appropriate funds for the time. I hate taking money out of my savings. At least we get paid at the end of the first week. I'm just trying to really save save save so I can do some serious house hunting and have a decent down payment when the time comes. Not only do I want a decent down payment but I also I want to still have a good 5,000 in my account and have money to invest. I have a game plan. It's just a matter of making it all happen. I figure by the end of this year I should be right about where I want to be financially. I'll have an even better idea once I get my bonus and raise in May. I don't foresee any major purchases this year so everything will hopefully stay on track. Time for rest though. I have to negotiate with an attorney tomorrow so I want to make sure I'm on top of my game.

Conformist

So I went ahead and joined the apple bandwagon. In prep for my trip to chicago I purchased an iPad. Not the new because of the current issues but an ipad2. I don't exactly see what's so special about it. Maybe I'm just still getting used to it or need an actual keyboard. I can using this for simple web surfing, email, and music stuff, but for actual work purposes it's really difficult. I didn't get it for that reason though so I guess I'm good. I only need it for travel purposes so I can maintain some sort of communication with everyone. I can't imagine traveling wi ,y laptop so this was the only logical way to go. I wanted to make sure I could Skype so I could still see my baby. I'm sad I have to leave her. In a perfect world I could take her with me seeing as the hotel is pet friendly but I could never crate her for a plane ride. I'm going to miss snuggling her at night, the way she excitedly greets me at the door when I get home from work, and even taking her to the doggie park. Shes just so damn cute. I just don't want her to forget me. I can't wait to find her in the car when I get picked up from the airport. I'll have to make sure I get her some kind of super cute souvenir. I'll do some research on pet stores in the area to see what I can find. I've been trying to take as many photos and videos of her before I go. It's sickening really but she is my child and I don't know what I would do without her.

motivation

i've been trying to think of ways to be creative or innovative for months now. I keep hoping that one of these days i'll have some brilliant idea that will completely change my life. i go to work every day thinking i can't wait to get out of here; not just physically out of the building at the end of the day, but out of the 9-5 mundane trap society has setup for us. i want to be my own boss. i want to do something i love. i want to do something that will have an effect on people. i observe friends and acquaintances on facebook who have been able to utilize their creativity,natural talent, drive, and passion to establish themselves with the types of careers i would kill for. i'd love to establish a website a successful website, or write articles, or even invent the next big thing. my mind just doesn't think the way it used to. i feel like i'm getting further and further away from that world and instead i'm being sucked into the 9-5 mentality. i have bills to pay, i need a career, i need to plan for the future. so here i am working just to make a living. to save for my retirement knowing social security benefits won't be around by the time i need it. i'm being forced into a life i don't really want to live. all i want is to be happy,successful, and satisfied. i don't want fame or money. i want only to do a job i love everyday that gives me a sense of accomplishment. for the longest time i lost the drive to do so, but within the past few months that small flicker of a flame has been glowing and growing. i'm finding drive again, i'm thinking and researching, i'm starting to get the writing bug. my writing skills are far too rusty and need tons of work though. i'm reading books again and trying to find joy in things i used to. i need to be more adventurous and less conservative. i need to live a little. i read an article a while back where someone interviewed elderly people about their lives and things they regret not doing. one participant said they regret saying no. always say yes. try new things, be open to new experiences. i want to be able to be adventurous and go out, but at the same time i don't want to spend money. sure there are plenty of "free"events out there, but i consider gas, wear and tear on my car, food, etc., into the equation and before i know i have enough excuses to justify not going. instead i find myself at the local target far too frequently getting my grande caramel latte at starbucks and walking around aimlessly through the store just to kill time in a day. i'm tired of trying to kill time. i need to nurture my time and turn into value. i'm done saying i want to find away out of the 9-5. i'm going to take action. it's not just a distant idea. it is now a plan of action. from this point on i am going to productive. i have to just start putting ideas into something tangible. i'm no longer working just to make a living. i'm working to buy time.