Baby Days

because i woke up early and feel like being a follower too i thought i'd share a few pictures from my baby days.

Dinner at the money table

since i hear a thunder storm rolling in and i am wicked afraid of those i decided to share a top ten fears list with you guys. and yes i am extremely bored.

top ten in no particular order:
paper cuts
thunder storms
throwing up... ewww
michael meyers (from the halloween movies)
hitting a pedestrian (came close. psa: don't wear black when it's pitch dark outside)
the dark
my dad when he's mad
dogs that bark (i know i know)
opening closed blinds or closing the blinds at night (thanks to free willy)
hearing my house alarm go off (i get so scared i can't move)


oh and i'm adding hurricanes because the first one last year (charlie I think it was) scared the crap out of me.

the cartel concert sold out. i don't have a ticket. that's two concerts in a row that i've missed. i'm cursed.

Stuck In America

I'm off to see X-men. I hope it's good. I never saw the second one all the way through so I hope I'm not lost.

Ok just wondering but does anyone else out there use the word wicked? I mean I know the people up in Mass. say it and that's where I picked it up but come down here and they all look at me like I am crazy when I say it. whatever I like it.

have i ever mentioned how awesome little kids are? If I haven't well.... they are!

and I can't believe Oct met Eliza Dushku. That's so not fair.


UPDATE: just got back from the movie and i guess all i have to say is that it wasn't all it's cracked up to be. ok i didn't really like it too much. it was ok but nothing special. mt friend who was super psyched about the movie came out wicked disappointed. let me know what all of you think after you see it. i got stuck to some drunk who wouldn't shut up and the theater was a mad house. every showing sold out and they kept adding later ones. insane.

Something that Produces Results

ok everyone we can all rest easy tonight. the red sox beat the yankees 9 to 5. It was a bit scary in the top of the ninth but we pulled through. what a pleasant way to end the night.

last IB test tomorrow... espanol. yea... after four years you would think i'd know something but i don't. so now i have to learn four years of spanish in one night. I wish I had had KC's spanish teacher because then I might have actually paid attention and maybe even learned something.

have a lovely tuesday everyone.

graduation

well i guess i "officially" graduate soon. the stupid thing starts at 8 but those idiots want us there at 6:30 and it's all the way downtown. if my parents weren't so into this whole thing i wouldn't go because it's not like you actually get your diploma, but eh they want to go so have to appease. Hopefully all of you are enjoying yourselves in a nice deep sleep unlike myself.


update: so it's over. it was long, boring, and i was wicked hungry. thanks for all of the lovely comments. you know actually it wasn't all that bad i was just hungry and tired. Now I'm off to go finish shopping for the madre for her birthday. I honestly thought it was tomorrow. my bad.

What's Left of Me

everyday I drive by at least a dozen of these flyers/posters. It's really quite depressing because there is nothing I can do about it. It still baffles me how people can just up and disappear. I mean I get how easy it is, but it just doesn't make sense. My mom bought me pepper spray because of this and the fact that I go out alone all the time. It sits in my glove compartment though because that stuff is dangerous. I accidentally sprayed it in the car once and almost died just from the smell. Anyway not that this is going to help but if you ever run across that girl in the picture give the number a call. It sucks that there are crappy people out there that kill, rape, and kidnap.

on a lighter note... some how I have become obsessed with that new Nick Lachey song. I'm so nosy I really wish I knew what happened between those two. I caught the series finale of that 70's show. It's so sad that this year a huge amount of shows have reached their end. Brings me back to the day Buffy ended. Not too good.

I would like to officially announce that I didn't get burnt from the beach. I hope everyone has a lovely Friday and then follow that up with a fantastic weekend.

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damn. did anyone else watch ER tonight? for the first time in quite a while I was really engaged and i'm going crazy with everything that happened.

You Versus the Sea

I just spent the most awesome day out at clearwater. I went in the water at the beach for the first time in like a year and nothing bad happened. I even laid out in the sun and didn't burn, but I don't think I really got any color either... we'll see tomorrow. We had planned on seeing the sunset but we went to eat and because there were so many of us it took too long and we missed it. i think there was talk of another beach trip for next week. i'm down with that. man i never knew how pretty clearwater was because it takes a while to get there, we usually go to the east coast and not the west. it was definitely well worth the drive to go there instead of cocoa... eww. so yep that was my day and it was awesome. i'm actually starting to enjoy the beach and thinking it's not such a bad place.

oh and to everyone doing the podcasts, you are all so awesome and i laugh hysterically with all of your stories. so thanks for sharing them.

mother's day?

on mother's day i don't really have anything special to throw out there. i don't have the best relationship with my mom so i don't understand this holiday all that much. i know it's a shame but that's just the way things are. i got her a gift last year and she never opened it. i had no desire to get her anything this year.

with allt hat said i send everyone to postsecret to see what other mother's and kids think.

all we know

well it happened. my friend has been mentioning how she needs to talk to me for a while now and it just never happened. but umm tonight she said she needed to talk to me and it had to be on the phone. so she calls and she's all you have to be honest and whatever is said can't leave this conversation. i honestly knew where she was going with this and i had tried to avoid it but it happened. at first she started talking about this guy dennis that she likes and that i hang out with all the time and she claims that i was like in love with him. not really him and i are just on the same page and everyone needs guy friends and he's just mine. he's awesome. so she tells me her story about him and then she gets to me. it takes her a while and she kept saying how i knew what she was going to ask and i did but i kept saying i didn't because you can never be sure. randomly after forever of silence shes asks if i am strictly dickly. i want to tell people that i'm gay but i'm not ready so i lied. i didn't say it with a lot of meaning behind it and she knew it though because she called me a liar. she went on to tell me that she's still my friend and i can talk to her if i need to and that whenever i'm ready to tell her i should. i know that but i just don't know when i'll be ready. she made some other comments too and i basically answered ok and stopped saying no and so basically she assumes and has in some ways confirmed her assumption that i am gay. i really wanted to ask her how she knew or what led her to think that but then that would be admitting it to her and i like i said i'm still not ready for that. it's hasn't been that long since i admitted it to myself and i don't want to go around telling people that about me. let me finish what i have to do here and give myself a fresh start with college. all in all though she asked i denied she knew it was a lie and there we stand. she said her peace and i said nothing but it's good to know that that's how she feels. but then i got confused some because she got mad at me for hanging out with dennis all the time and the fact that he texts me at two in the morning is messed up. she is jealous. but yea she was making a big deal about it and so i said something along the lines of there's nothing between us how could there be it wouldn't work and she's like oh yea you're right. so yep she basically knows and she'll confirm it with our other friend and so yep that's two people down in a sense.

on to the next thing. i went with dennis out to eat and then to see art school confidential. it was different and kate was only in it for like two minutes but that was all i needed. she had like a mullet type thing and i wasn't fond of that but whatever. there were three girls behind us and earlier in the movie when a comment was made they laughed and i immediately knew they were gay. then kate came on and they made comments and one even whistled. assumption confirmed. it was great though to see kate on that huge screen. she played a gay artist, not that it was a big thing but she did sort of quickly kiss the main lady. yep it was great other than this hideous naked art model man that they showed. i got all excited when she came on and so hey maybe that leads dennis to some assumptions about me. i don't know it was great.

Jude Law and a Semester Abroad

round two of testing is over. I definitely owned my history exam. thank god i'm a big history buff and just seem to know stuff.

I'm starting to doubt the whole college thing. My mom came in the other day told me I am selfish and then went on to say that she doesn't care what I do anymore. That's nice. Glad to know I have people behind me supporting my decisions. i wish everything didn't revolve around money.

time to get a job....
is it just me or does gas seem to burn a lot faster all of a sudden?

sarah shahi is doing L-word stuff so maybe there's hope that she's coming back...

i think i have to go see art school confidential now. it's gotten mixed reviews but i dont care. i want that one minute of seeing kate on the big screen.

So Contagious

so i did one thanks to madd and wonga. yep my first and maybe only audioblog. hey the hills... wow i'm a sucker for bad television on mtv. ok sorry. but yes audioblog not so good. i have speech issues but i tried to avoid the words i can't say.

ok umm sorry but that go phone has a really creepy commercial out. it's like scenes from a horror movie and i don't like it. you all should watch it.

alright yes so there it is.

Finger Twist and Split

round one of testing is over. no more biology or math. round two starts monday so that means today is rest, tomorrow starts the studying all over again. at least its only english and history next week. i get a nice break before round three, spanish, which i had no intention of studying for but since i bombed math that idea has been shot out the window.

oh well i think i've done ok so far. i just want 4's so i can get that damn diploma and move on.

congratualtions to everyone who has already finished school along with all of their exams and papers.

thanks to everyone for putting up the awesome podcasts this week. those definitely help keep a bit of mental balance. looking forward to next week's installments.

now it's time to retire for a nap. got my pillow in the car and a lovely library parking lot to doze off in.

Testing the Strong Ones

Pandora/HOB Present: She Rock - Sophie B. Hawkins with special guest Betty of the "L"Word

do they have to always associate themselves with the show? do they really think that doing that is going to attract more people to their shows?

anyway breaking from studying. major headache. math test totally rapped me today. it was way harder than any other year. but whatever can't complain because tomorrow is going to be worse. math paper 2 and then bio paper 1 and 2? how the hell am I supposed to study for all of that today? i've done more studying in the past three days than i have in my entire life and thats an honest statement. so basically after one tree hill it's back to bio for another umm four hours and then sleep. good thing there is a two hour break between tests so i can cram some more for bio. ok enough test talk sorry.

kelka and J-Meg podcasts up and totally hilarious.

oh man. ok so it totally makes sense. Pandora & Alison Burgos Presents Girls in Wonderland '06 with DJ Pride. ok so yea i guess the whole pride thing starts at the end of may and thats why the house of blues has betty that one night and the band listed above june 2nd and 3rd. i forgot about all that stuff. i'll try and make it to something somewhere. it would be a nice way to celebrate the end of testing.

ok ok time to eat, catch up on blogs, then back to studying. hope everyone else is having a stress free week.

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the psycho society report:
so i thought i would throw this out there. couple things i heard about the people of today's society.

1. on the news last night they were talking about a hate group that has been protesting at recent military funerals. the group claims that the soldiers have died because america has embraced homosexuals or some weird crap like that. the protestors are now being arrested if they disrupt the funerals.

2. ok so apparently some mom took her kid to a fall out boy concert in North Carolina and was offended so she sent a letter to the record label. this is one of the claims for her letter. "Charlotte is not the demoralized city that liberal San Fransico and other cities across the North and West are. I didnt spend over $200.00 for tickets,gas, food, and unforturnately shirts that I purchased for them before the concerts, for you to give your own personal political testimony, cursing anyone who disagreed. This was a concert, not some liberal homosexual rally. I predict that you have lost a lot of financial support in the last 24 hours. I am not the only parent with morals that had children at this concert." so yea i got a good laugh at that. see what happens when bands go mainstream and gather younger audiences, the parents go crazy on them and they have to deal with extra unnecessary shit. it was a concert, what did the lady expect? but yea the gay thing really got me because that is so crazy for her to claim.

i know i know i know

well it's that time again. the time where i avoid my house and my dad. my mom dropped the news that i paid the tuition and housing deposit for northeastern today and he went off. as soon as i heard him start i was out of the house and off to the library without saying a word and i stayed there for five hours waiting until i knew it was safe to return. that will be my routine for the next two weeks probably. apparently he spent the night yelling at my mom for letting me do that. whatever i understand what i am getting myself into but it's my choice and it's something i'm willing to do. now i just have to write a letter to FSU letting them know i won't be attending. i'll consider it again if for some reason i decide to transfer back.

so along with the avoid home routine i also have IB tests starting tomorrow which means studying every waking hour of the day in order to pass. english tomorrow... that's easy enough. math on wednesday and I am freaking out becauase i suck at math. so anyway i think i might be more of a lurker than an active participant these next couple of weeks. oh and i have to get two jobs so once i start working it's over as well.

i'm out. hopefully i still find time at night to check everything out so i don't fall too behind. 19 days until graduation... just thought i would share. and i think tomorrow is the last night i'll ever have to sit through an episode of teachers. i'll miss seeing sarah but definitely won't miss that show.

Where Does the Good Go

I have returned. What a surreal weekend it has been. First high school ends, next I take a stand and tell my mom I am going to Northeastern, and then my uncle gets married. The guy who no one ever thought would take the plunge finally got married. My eyes didn't stop crying much this weekend either. I cried at school (one of the only ones), I cried talking to my mom about college, and then I cried at both the wedding and reception. My uncle was so happy and it was one of the best moments watching him stand there saying his vows. Yea he's my favorite person in the entire world and we're really close so it was just amazing.

more wonderful words from psycho mom this weekend. came home tonight and she went off about my intentions for going to college. she accussed me of wanting to go to northeastern so i could run away to my new lifestyle or something along those lines. then i have a friend going there too so my mom inquired about her and asked if she is weird and if she has a boyfriend. ok no she's not the reason i want to go there and no she is not gay. but yes so my mom has spent the past two hours since we have been home trying to knock me for making the choice to go to northeastern. she's implied that it's stupid, she thinks my intentions are wrong, and she has basically said i have to do this all on my own and have no support. how fantastic is that. so tomorrow has me getting up bright and early and heading to every store i can find to apply. i need to get like three jobs or something and just work my ass off until i leave for college. i aslo have to find scholarships to apply for and call the financial aid people at the school and talk to them and hopefully i can somehow find a way to make this all work. we'll see what happens.

now it's time to catch up on everything i have missed the past few days.

jodi- mmm such great heights is so a postal service song. iron and wine does an ok job with it but the original postal service version is way better. everyone should love the postal service.